Challenge Accepted

Yesterday was a challenging day as a person and as a mom. At least for me. I have anxiety issues and can get worked up and stressed too easily. We rushed to make the bus which flew right by as I tried to flag it down crossing the street facing it. It was a nearly empty bus, perfect for stroller. The next bus came but both courtesy fold up seats were taken by people in electric wheelchairs, and there was an elderly man with walker ahead of us. So we began to walk to the next major intersection chancing a second bus route. Somewhere in all this rush and frustration, my son's full bottle of freshly pumped milk exploded in my purse soaking and destroying my phone. I was already worked up and frustrated with the busses. Gawd. Luckily he was still working on a bottle we brought with and I brought my nipple shield so we could breastfeed. But I was ready to scream and throw my phone down on the pavement and call it a day! But I didnt. I took a deep breath and softly spoke to my son about how ridiculous all these events were while I emptied milk and items out of my purse, waiting for the next bus... What mattered most at this time wasn't my own anger and jeuvinile need to throw a tantrum. What mattered was my son was in a sunny mood, it was the last nice day before three days of rain ahead, and we both needed to make the most of it. He laughed and squealed as mom cleaned out her purse and tried to dry her sticky milk soaked phone. Well the day went on. I eventually got my errands done. We found a discrete place to nurse, and mom got a new phone. A better water and shatter resistant phone. A mom-proof phone lol. I knew becoming a mom I'd have to work harder on my anxiety and anger issues. That I'd be challenged and have to learn quickly to remain calm under preasure. Mind you I work directing live racing for tv broadcast. But this is different, and I assumed giving birth would provide me this magical ability to cope more easily. To some extent it has. But it's still a challenge for any parent with or without anxiety. But days like this make me proud of myself and encourage me to keep being the best I can, and that I'm still learning too. He's learning basic skills and I'm relearning to slow down and enjoy life. It passes by so quickly. Only a few months ago I could hold him with one hand curled up asleep on my chest. Now I can barely hold him while he squirms at diaper changing 😆

That's all. Just wanted to share somewhere other moms could relate.