Cheating, but I'm being open to it

Cheating was an absolute deal breaker for me. But recently. I met a guy. He is everything iv ever dreamt of. And I don't want to loose him. He says we have each others hearts and that we connect on a deeper level then sex. So he usually has sex with his ex. And iv turned my head away from that, because I don't care about what the were or are, I just care about him and I. But I fucked someone else and he literally flipped. He wants me isolated from everyone. He turned my phone off. I used to be so confident. And iv literally destroyed myself, and everything I believed in to be with this man. And no don't understand why I'm hot enough. I love him, and he will fuck up and ilk swear I'm done. But I can't stomach the thought of him leaving. I don't want better. Maybe I don't deserve better. I really just want to know if anyone has been I. This situation, and how they fixed it??