Working on myself

Can someone please explain how working on myself is a bad thing? How is it a bad thing to try to find something to make myself happy outside of my relationship, family, and my child?

My mom passed away 7 months ago. I feel like I am being pushed into the marriage corner by boyfriend, and certain other family remembers.

I told him over and over I need time! I need to work on myself. I need to do something just for me.

I tried to explain how I had to watch my mom die of cancer. How she got so weak she couldn't even drink a sip of water.

What is so wrong of me needing time? I am trying to be happy! But I am not ready right now to be engaged! Why is that a bad thing?

Why is bad I want to make sure I can stand on my own two feet first for my daughter !!!!

Why am I made to feel wrong about it