losing my confidence as a mom .. venting
This morning 5:30 am! me and my hubby had the biggest blow out because our son kept getting up every 20 min from 3:30 am to 5:20 am at which point hubby (finally since he hasn't t helped me in the middle of the night for the 11 weeks our son has been born) got up and went on about me not doing a "good job." (were both latinos and so our culture has a whole different way of doing things ..) anywho he just was saying how other people he knows they don't have this issue and their baby sleeps thru the night and ours has never slept thru the night (again he's only 11 weeks and I'm soooo jealous of those in here who love to taunt me with there @my baby has been sleeping thru the night since 4 weeks ..ugh!!) and I must be doing something wrong .. that I read too much into what the internet and YouTube suggest etc... I ofcourse broke down into the hardest cry ever.. writing this I'm getting upset because I just feel judgement from everyone..seems like everyone has something to say.. his mom will make little comments here and there.. and I wouldn't doubt she has said some things to him.. my mom has also.. I'm a first time mom and I have no clue what I'm doing!! I didn't have a sibling until I was 14 yrs old at which point I wasn't interested in babies as a teenager and so didn't pay attention... I don't have any experience with babies at all.. I do see and know that our culture does things different and now I'm questioning if I should
Be doing things the "American way" or the "Latino way" (whatever that even means) our cultures doesn't really have any set routines .. they stop feeding babies in the middle of the night forcefully so that they would sleep in the middle of the night .. I mean I don't want to do that .. but then again we turned out just fine.. I'm going back to work in 2 days and this is really stressing me out!!!!!!! Hubby ofcourse apologiZed for being inconsiderate and I still haven't forgiving him because that was really hurtful.. we should be working with each other not against each other .. he claims he understand and he has felt like crap all these weeks for not getting up with him in the middle of the night becusse he works and I understand that.. he does hard labor at work but .. I yelled at him if he knows how to raise a child and thinks he cAn do a better job than then do it!!!!! He says he's sorry and knows I'm the best to our son.. etc.. but I still feel like crap .. I'm not the most confident person in general so just thinking that I'm failing as a mom just makes me feel like total crap.. please don't say mean thing towards my husband I just needed to vent to other moms.
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