I went through a traumatic experience at a really young age where I had to open up to my family about being sexually abused for five long torturing years. I was too scared to say anything about it for fear that I'd get in trouble. Of course, I believed him when he'd say "if you tell your mom.... bad things will happen." So I kept quiet for so long. However, immediately after confessing what had been going on, I started experiencing these horrible sleep paralysis episodes. They got worse and worse throughout the years, I'd have to say I experienced this vivid nightmares for about 3 or 4 years and then they randomly stopped and I didn't get them as often. They were just occasional. Only now they're back, following another traumatic event. My brother passed away nearly eleven months ago now and I've been experiencing a lot of hallucinations and sleep paralysis episodes. Could it be caused by all the guilt I'm feeling? I feel like the sexual abuse was entirely my fault. And I feel that I could have prevented my brothers death. I was awake the night he passed. I heard something outside my room and I didn't get up to check. I could have saved him 😔 I tried desperately to resuscitate him in the morning when we found him but by then it was far far far too late. I could have saved him.
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