just need to let it out

So I miscarriaged a baby once before 4 years ago I was 10-16 weeks pregnant I had a hard time wit that one as I was going to a hard break up. This time I miscarriaged the second baby at 6 weeks and it was harder for me to process everything I knew February 21 I miscarriaged the second baby and they didn't do a dnc until 1 month later so I had this died baby in side of me and I could handle it I cryed every day I still do cry. I'm going to see my little cousin that was born the same day I miscarriage and everyday I talk to his mom on the phone after when I get off  the phone I want to cry so bad cause I wanted my baby I don't know how to keep it in when I get to see him soon. I'm trying to get over this loss by planting some white flowers I got on Mother's Day by one of my coworkers but it's so hard. Just needing advice if some of you girls know  what I'm going though. :( thanks for reading