I'm posting this to alleviate my fears more than anything. This is my third time being pregnant, and with no living babies this positive pregnancy test is the scariest of them all. Each time since the first I feel a little less joy in the moment than I should. It is hard to be the person with back to back miscarriages. It is hard to make room in your heart for a little one that never comes. It's hard to see friends around you have sweet little ones without even trying! I wish someone would have warned me before we started trying to conceive just how hard this journey could be. I am attempting to choose faith over my fear. I am attempting to feel joy over my fear. I want this baby with everything in my being. With each loss my husband and I clung to each other. Each loss confirmed just how badly we wanted to be parents. Ultimately, I know these losses have made us stronger and will make us truly appreciate how beautiful and precious our baby(/ies) is/are. (But loss sucks. Period.) So I guess if you're reading this know that I am here, I've been there, I'm still there, I'm scared, I'm happy, but most of all I'm ok. And so are you. And if you want to be a mom you WILL be a mom. Whether you have 0 losses or 12. Whether you need clomid, <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a>'s, <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>, adoption...you WILL be a mom. Remember that. Xoxo