I am 17 years old now, but I was 16 when I lost my baby. I was so nervous but also excited for the things to come, and yes I know I was young, but it was going to be the best looked after baby there could be. My family obviously were not happy with the baby me and my boyfriend had made and offered abortion or adoption as the best option but I was adamant that I did not want to get rid of this life that was inside me. I scheduled a doctors appointment for that Friday and that's when things started to go downhill. I had a feeling something was wrong so I kept testing to check baby was still there. And I found it odd that the lines were getting lighter and lighter but played it off that it was just because it wasn't my FMU. When I showed up to the doctors she did a urine test but by then there was no line. I went through countless blood tests but eventually there was nothing left. I started bleeding the week later and passed naturally but I will never escape this sadness that overwhelms me. I feel like I wasn't allowed to mourn. As my parents and my boyfriends parents won't let me mention my baby, or my loss. I grieve everyday but not being able to talk about it is killing me. My baby would be born in four months time. I miss him/her everyday and I'm struggling to cope. I feel like even though I was and still am young that I should be allowed to be upset and feel guilt and sadness and all the other emotions that come with a miscarriage. Because at the end of the day that was my baby, and always will be. I'm sorry for the super long post I just felt so overwhelmed with emotion and didn't know where else to turn to. Thank you for reading all this if you did.