Postpartum depression

Postpartum depression sucks. I was diagnosed with depression when I was 12 years old. And now, almost 20, I have a 4 1/2 month old daughter and have recently been diagnosed with PPD. I'm not on any meds or anything. They have so far only recommended that I see a therapist, which I will be making an appointment for very soon. I just get really really low at night. Like, where, I don't want my SO to even touch me. We are currently engaged, planning a small wedding because we can't afford a whole lot. We're talking $7000 for this wedding. And he is over the moon excited planning for it and I was at first. But lately I haven't been. I just don't care. I feel numb. Like I can't ever really feel happy. I feel like a bad mom ALL of the time. My daughter seems to only really smile at her dad nowadays. Im also a stay at home mom and our car was recently towed. So I can't go anywhere. My apartment complex has roaches and my manager refuses to let me change apartments. These roaches have been here since '03. Word of advice, you get what you pay for and always read reviews. My SO just started a new job. He hasn't been paid in 3 weeks. So stress levels are at an all time high. I recently cut my hair from middle of back to shoulder length. And I absolutely hate it. I look unhealthy. I'm gaining weight. All of my friends and I mean ALL of them are pregnant. So they're all happy and excited and just want to talk about baby shopping, which I am totally up for. When I want to be. Anytime I try to talk about how I feel, no one really listens. It's just so hard to be happy lately.

What do you mom's do to help you feel better. I just need things to get my mind off everything.