Dear One and Only

Me and you were friends for 10 years before we got together...we were together 11 1/2 years, two kids....and a relationship roller coaster...many times you would leave, disappear for days, sometimes weeks and expected to come back and everything would be okay...we never discussed really the things or reasons of what happened for you to leave...i never really understood what needed to be fixed or how...I finally had it when you chose to have your online girlfriends and tried to hide them...not to mention the real women that were local...i told you i was tired and couldn't live that way anymore...I still love you and miss you everyday...we been separated for 4 months now and just spent the past few days together...it ended when you thought i was getting too close again...i told you that i have accepted that me and our kids are no longer your first priority...i don't want the life you're choosing...you're my best friend and I love you...I'm good on my own...i have learned to be okay with just me...i do miss my best friend...you tell me i still have your heart and always will...it hurts to know that you are struggling with your feelings and still you choose the life you are living...I understand we both are hurt and have resentments toward each other...will they ever go away so that we can be happy together...i miss you...I'm scared to allow myself to get too close to you...i don't want to hurt and cry...i recently quit crying so much...you are still one of the best people I've ever known...no matter the shit we have put each other through, I'm hoping one day we will find our way together again....if not i hope she makes you happy and i dont have to kick someone's a**...I Love You with all my heart...I'll keep flirting till you tell me to stop