formula feeding (guilt)

My baby is 2 weeks old and I am a first time mom. I have been dealing with severe anxiety since I brought my baby home. I have also been dealing with the pressures of breastfeeding my child (she won't latch due to my inverted nipples). To top it alll off I got mastitis! I decided to stop attempting to latch her because it was becoming too much for me and her. During pumping I cry and cry because I hate doing it! I pump while my husband feeds her and it makes me really sad that I don't get to feed her often. I hate pumping! I'm miserable doing it and want to stop but am dealing with the frowns/ judgmental comments that come with formula feeding. Everything is so breastfeeding pro that I feel I may be doing something wrong by giving up! The interesting part is that even before I was pregnant I knew I didn't want to breast feed! I attempted to do only formula today (since my mastitis only lets me produce a little bit of milk anyway), and when I saw my babies poop was a different color I freaked out! I knew it was the formula making the difference. Even when burping her, she spits it up a little... I feel so stuck and confused! I was formula fed as well as my brother and a few family members and were all fine... why do I feel so guilty? Is pumping to give her my breast milk what I should stick to knowing it's giving me more anxiety and it's not letting me bond with her? While crying during pumping I feel I'm transferring that negative energy to her :( I hope someone has gone through this because I don't know what to do