Dear Lost Love (long read)

I'm still hurt. I'm so confused. I have been trying for months to move on. I start to feel like I will be okay with my single life. You come back and treat me so sweet and nice. You tell me I'm your best friend and I'll always have your ❤. Why is it that I want more? Why can I not accept the fact that I deserve better? Why do I seem to think of you everyday, all the time? How long do I wait patiently until you figure it out what you want?...I want more cause I miss you, everything about you, good and bad...I think of you cause i care so much and wonder of you're thinking of me too...time has stopped for me even as life passes...I don't make many plans because they don't involve you or should they? I want to be ready to be there for you when you remember I'm the best thing in your life...you come in and out...recently we spent a few days together and you said you didn't regret it, you enjoyed it...yet you decide to go your own way and keep your distance and leave me heartbroken all over again...after all these months apart...the few days we spent together...you finally change your Facebook status to "separated" and take down the picture of me that you wrote "love you"...i realize that this is a hopeless love...i cannot allow you to break my heart over and over anymore...you're confusing ways, I'm still waiting...I can't for much longer...your actions and words don't match...I deserve better...I'm hoping, that I will find someone to rescue me from this pain of a hopeless love...because I no longer believe in Love and Marriage...I just wanna have fun and be happy with me again