How to stop irrational jealousy ?

Question

Sooo , me and my boyfriend have been together a little bit over a year .
Hes literally the sweetest person I've ever met . He's so kind, friendly and patient . 
( Literally thank the lord for his patience with me ) .
THE problem is i get randomly and irrationally jealous over him hanging out with other people . And I absolutely hate this about myself it isn't fair to him .
I usually don't say it out loud to him , but there have been fights caused by this .

Now I say it's irrational because I know 100% this man loves me more than anything . I have literally no reason to worry with him , and I do trust him I know he wouldn't intentionally hurt me .

I want to change my bad behavior , because one I know it isn't fair to him he's done nothing wrong . And also because i know one day his patiis nice is gunna end and I can't blame him .

I think all this goes back to my past relatilnshits and my trust issues or insecurities .

THE point is how to i stop this behavior ? Any advise is welcome ❤️.

Answer

Thank you for posting this cause I feel the same about my husband and it is killing me.

Like you said there is no reason to feel like that cause I always know who he is with where he is and he always talks to me constantly.

So I feel you sister!!

Answer

Resolve the root cause of your insecurities. Usually feeling inadequate in some way is the culprit. If you can remind yourself that you're enough, you deserve love and a faithful man, and that this is just a fear that comes up because you've been hurt in the past, you can quickly rationalize the thoughts and bring yourself back to reality. The reality is that you have a man who loves you and doesn't want to hurt you. Don't sabotage that by allowing your ego to believe you're not worthy of him. You are!

Answer

I used to be like this at the beginning of my relationship. I wanted my boyfriend only to spend time with me. I would be ok with him visiting his family since they don't live together, but as soon as he said he was going to martial arts practice or going to hang out with friends, I would get extremely jealous and irritated. I think the best thing is to focus on what you like to do outside of your relationship. Find a hobby that way you're not so focused on what he's doing when you're not around (obviously if you both trust each other you won't let your thoughts wander to any negativity). For me it was makeup. Lol. It might sound crazy but whenever he's not home, that's what I'll do. Or clean around the house. I like everything super organized and white, so that keeps me busy. I think a big part of it is knowing that you both are grown and serious about the relationship and you both are busy/interested in different things. But also look for things that you both like so you can bond when you are spending time together. Don't let your insecurities eat you up, be confident. He'll love that even more.

Answer

I think a good amount of self control and finding self respect and love for yourself would be a good idea. I'm the same way. I wanna say exactly the same but I am probably worse. You have to talk yourself down sometimes. Ask yourself if what you're thinking is rational, or if it's just the anxiety and the jealousy? The biggest thing is to think before you speak. We all tend to say things we don't mean when we're angry or upset. It's a matter of talking yourself out of it. Don't feel bad for feeling this way. It's hard not to, honestly. I think everyone feels it to some extent. Tell yourself what you *know*. Not what youre afraid of. Anyway I hope everything goes well for you (: have a nice day

How to stop irrational jealousy ?

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