should I be upset or not, is it cheating or not?

Question

So my boyfriend always have been the home bodied type he doesn't really go out to clubs or bars or party's. recently he told me he was going to a friends daughter birthday party. The daughter was turning one. So I was ok cool I don't mind. He then texted me around 11pm to say that he was too drunk to drive that he was just gonna stay at the friends house. He comes home around 6 am with a hangover and sleep until like 10 am when I woke him up to eat some breakfast. We are eating breakfast when out of no where he asked me will I be mad if he danced with other girls. Now mind you he dosent even Dance. My response was well depends on how you were dancing with the girl. I then asked why. We're you dancing with a girl at that party? He looked me in my face and said no. Later that night we go out to the movies we then are on our way to pick up our son and comes out and shows me a video that someone took at the party of some girl bumping and grinding on him. At that point I was upset. I lashed out because when I asked him he told me no and not only that he doesn't even dance with me. He quickly stated that he was so drunk and blamed it on the liquor and that I have no reason to be upset becaus it didn't go further then dancing. Should I be upset that he was dancing with another girl like that. Will you ladies consider that cheating?

Answer

Well #1 he lied to your face. #2 why is he allowing another woman to touch him like that.. of he blames the alcohol then he shouldn't go out drinking if he cant handle himself like a taken man. I would be pissed. I mean he looked you dead in the face and lied about dancing..whos to say he isnt lying about something worse. I mean.. I'd never allow my man to go out drinking and "stay at a friend's " until 6am.. sounds like a bull shit story to me

Answer

I wouldn't consider it cheating exactly, but very very close. I'd see it more as flirting (which I personally don't consider cheating unless it's done with the intention to cheat). But it's certainly very disrespectful to you and your relationship. I'd be very angry and alcohol is not an excuse for that kind of behaviour at all. I don't think you're in the wrong to feel betrayed and hurt. I'd be feeling the same way. I'm a very trusting person and my SO really has no restrictions on going out, drinking with friends, etc. So if he did that and then lied about it there would be serious issues as trust is a huge deal to me. Lying, cheating and abuse are my deal breakers personally (and lying could be worked through I guess, but it'd take time and I'd be so angry for a while).

Answer

I would 100% consider this as cheating and so would my partner.

Answer

There is no universal list that discerns which behaviors constitute as infidelity and which do not. Aspects encompassing types of contact, physical touch, and emotional attachment will each have their own specific set of rules and boundaries that will determined how one should conduct themselves around others. The issue that many couples face is the fact that their own interpretation on how an affair is defined often does not pristinely align with their partner's. When this occurs, it creates an ambiguous realm where each partner will simply adhere to their own morals in the event of a questionable situation. This can, and eventually will, cause tension. My best advise is that you take the time to discuss what each of you considers to be a miscarriage of loyalty. Best of luck!

Answer

My question would then be, did these women also sleep over until 6 am? And why was there this amount of alcohol and drunken dancing at a 1 year olds party? Also, would he have acted this way if you were at the party? If not, his behavior was totally inappropriate. My trust would definitely be broken and I'd expect him to stop going to parties if he can't handle his alcohol.

Answer

Honestly, it doesn't really matter what we think, you are allowed to feel however you feel about that and you're feeling should be taken seriously. If you feel betrayed and like you can't trust him, then those are your feelings and you should own them. So in my opinion, you need to talk with him about how you feel about it and let him know that you feel a little bit unsafe in this relationship now because of it. Think about whether or not you can live with this and forgive, or if you just feel like he's not worthy of your trust anymore. If you don't think you can trust him, then you really have to think about whether or not you want to be with someone you feel is not worthy of your trust.

Answer

Sooo was he really even at a one year olds party? My God son, my niece, and even my friends baby sisters first birthday never had drinking nor ended that late..I would be EXTREMELY upset too

should I be upset or not, is it cheating or not?

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