Him writings Boyfriend finds out app eve (2017)

Okay,lets go back to the time u use this ,my love, I found that u been using this since it seems to go back to 2016ish should boyfriend like me didn't not know until today I (found out)... she trusts me... she loves me..... And I know willing in fact that we're ment to be, it hurts to see my past has hurt u so much and don't get me wrong I do have a addication but I can tell u this I do get f××××× up yeah, but aleast i know in my heart I'm doing wayyy better now nd u know it , I've taken smaller pinches ,I am who I am love,I've chosen that if I die from addiction idc I chose that I even say it , ill even sign a DNR so u cant do nothing about it ppl take medications every day to coop with there day, I'm sorry how the world is ugly nd I am too part of the ugly nobody's perfect I have no excuse to say the way I do it , my life isn't normal and so are other's ppl go thru crap nd blog about crap I didn't kno eve could post crap , that's crazy, I thought this shit was some catalog or something for girls check there periods don't get me wrong what frustrates me that she blogged about my life and it hurt.. I love that after finding about looking thru it she love me unconditionally to point she beats me at times for not spending time don't get me wrong ur not a monster yes we fight but plz I wasnt like that growing up im not use to it, I shake after were done , I'm not asking for help ppl okay lets get that clarified "u know guys go thru so much too so u should give a pat in the back at least for the guy that's with u till end of the night I love the fact she's co co for me sometimes we think about were like joker&Quinn the only part hurt was that u started to get a "wondering eye" after my fall yes everyone has falls but I've been working before u , for 4 years buying tenders for u sneaking u out of school okay let's say u did go, and I didn't get better and God forbid I past... it would go thru the conscious in ur head I left him.. , I had Fallen hard but ranting about saying u work 6 months I don't complain about how tough it is , I know it's tough, it's not easy making a dollar at times it's life, I need u as much as u need me I'm ur soulmate there's nothing else to put it I don't blog , *I don't get on the media* sigh my heart lowers to the stomach when I think of certain things *tears falling* this is the past nd my gf dosnt use it "as much as before " not that I kno " finding out so much,... What should a boyfriend like me do ? Keep it myself which idc cause she'll find out later she's been hiding this from me,well see long would it take her to find this post,