Dear Ex-Bestfriend

I'm sorry. I really am but I don't regret what I did. I wanted things to go so differently and I wish I didn't hurt you that was never my intentions. I never once stopped to think about how this would make you feel or how it may hurt you. I'm sorry for ever making you doubt you can trust anyone again. But at the same time I'm not.

Our friendship was toxic you were always trying to one up me and I never really understood why. It was like I was in competition I never even wanted to be apart of. Birthdays. Boys. You were the exact opposite of me boy crazy and wild while I was more reserved and quiet. But when I was around you I felt free. So when we fell out I was shocked I mean it was mostly my doing from betraying you but I believed we could work through this and apparently not. You made some threats to my life and all I could think is okay I deserve this. But then you made fun of me and called me a "sick suicidal bitch" and had the audacity to threaten my life.

You changed my whole outlook on life you made me love who I was but also hate who I was at the same time. See I thought that without you I'd never truly know who i was but I was wrong. When we were done being friends I'd found friends in the people that I put on the back burner people who used to hate me now understood my pain people who used to love me now seemed to hate me all because of you. You ran your mouth and told everyone our business but if I did the same you had your mom on speed dial ready to make feeble threats to a child she once claimed as her own.

You had your friends try and bring me down and had aired my demons as of they were your own. Had included people I'd never known into a drama that should've stayed between us. You turned something that was already a mess into something messier. And that year, that one year of my life was a mess.

Yes I'd slept with your ex but not out of spite or jealousy out of true emotions that we liked each other.

That we cared about each other. That he understood certain things I was going through he was there and it wasn't like I did anything while you were dating because that wasn't me. I believed in my heart that he loves you and you love him. But that was a lie that you both told. So when you came and started telling him lies you broke me. Because the one person that knew all of my problems and my sister had now used my darkest secrets against me.

So yes I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that you are so bitter that you had to tear me down to make sure you felt better.

I'm sorry that your self esteem and your need for attention got in the way of us ever trying to "resolve" things.

But you know what I'm over it I just needed you to know that I'm happy now. I have the greatest friends ever and my boyfriend adores me and I'm pretty sure he's the one. I couldn't imagine not having him by my side. And them at one of my friends is expecting a baby and I'm going to be a godmother.

I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry but at the same time thank you