Going into this pregnancy I made a commitment to myself and to my baby that I would clean up my diet and make a change. I researched everything about diabetes and what to eat and how much of. And stuff to stay away from. I felt proud of myself. And in result of that, I lost 14lbs. My numbers were under control and all was good. That is until I hit 6 months. It seemed as though the things I was normally eating was now raising my blood sugar and I couldn't figure out why. So I talked to my Dr about it and she said that this can happen later in pregnancy and that my body had become insulin resistant. Basically, I had developed gestational diabetes on top of my regular diabetes. She then placed me on insulin that I would take with every meal. Still my diet hadn't changed and the insulin did help but I was still getting high numbers. My blood sugar averaged to 140 according to my meter. It's been almost 2 weeks since I've been on insulin. I was told to keep a track of my numbers through out the week and to call the nurse to tell her what my numbers were. I waited all day before she got back with me. She told me the Dr wanted to up my dose of insulin and see a dietician. However, my insurance doesn't cover that. I got the impression that the nurse and my dr both think I'm not eating right which is why my blood sugar is all over the place. She then said you may need to eat more or eat more healthier snacks. I told her that I have been all this time. In fact I have never ate this healthy in my life! I mean who eats a cauliflower pizza over regular pizza when the cravings are so strong? LOL! Anyways, I just felt judged simply bc I am slightly overweight. Even despite the fact that I've lost weight. The baby's anatomy scan at 20 weeks was good with no worries too. I know I am doing everything right. My body is just having a harder time producing enough insulin. It just sucks because I don't think people realize just how depressing and hard habing diabetes really is. The struggle is real. It's something that's always on your mind and something that will never go away. Having to eat something totally different from the family sucks. There's times where they want take out food and I have to just sit back and make myself something else to eat. It's not like a diet where you get a cheat day once a week, its worse. I sure hope that once baby comes that I won't have to be on insulin anymore. So to all you mama's struggling with this, stay strong. Even when the times get tough. Cry if you need to, I did today after talking to that bitch of a nurse today. Writing this has made me feel better though, and I will not let them get to me anymore!