Have u ever not known ur mom or dads side of the family?

Question

How has it effected you growing up?? Recently posted about abusive SO's side and everyone advises to cutting them off. We are going to. Just wondering how it would feel not knowing a half of your family??

Answer

Oddly enough my fiance and I have a similar story on this one. I never knew my dad's dad wasn't my biological grandfather until my dad's biological father passed away when I was 18. It was shocking news to me. My grandma left him when my dad was a baby because he was an abusive alcoholic. My grandpa adopted him when he was 3. So I never knew my biological grandfather or any of his family. My fiance's dad is quite similar. His father took off when he was a baby, I think he knows his name but never met the guy. So he doesn't know his biological grandfather or his side of the family either. Obviously not knowing about him until I was 18, it didn't really affect me growing up. It never changed my views of my grandpa either, knowing he wasn't blood. If anything it made me look at him with a whole lot more love and respect. He may not have been blood but he was grandpa. He passed from Alzhiemers in 2015. That's when it started to dawn on me that there's a whole other side of the family and I have no idea what their medical history is. That kind of bothers me a bit. I've never really pressed for answers about the guy. Dad said when my brother and I were babies, he'd send pictures of us to his bio dad. Didn't want the guy around us, but he knew of us. We just didn't know of him. To this day (I'm almost 27) I've never seen so much as a picture of him. I know his first name. Lloyd. I know he had blonde hair and blue eyes. Liked to drink and hit women. That's all I have.

Answer

I had only met my maternal grandparents a handful of times. No more than five, and the last time I saw them was in middle school. I'm 26. I also have an aunt on my mom's side whom I've never met and didn't even get to go to her funeral because no one told me until weeks after. My mother did not have good relations with her parents or her sisters. My aunt who is still living told me that their parents were very emotionally distant and that my grandfather was away a lot because he was in the navy and my grandmother was very occupied with their sister who had Down's. It did a lot of emotional damage to my mother and she developed Borderline Personality disorder because of the emotional neglect she suffered growing up (in part, at least). I am fairly close with my aunt, but as I learn more and more about my mother's side I feel a greater and greater sadness. True, my grandparents did little more than send a few birthday cards to me, but that doesn't mean they aren't part of my history, who I am. I am particularly grieved at the loss of my aunt. My mother never cared for her or about her, my father was the only family to ever visit her after she was moved to a home for adults with mental disabilities. He visited her every Christmas with a present. I never met her, mostly because I didn't know about her. It's hard when someone is gone, someone who is a part of you even if you've never met, wondering what you could have learned from them, what kind of love you could have shared what memories you could have made. I don't get on with my mother. She has made many selfish decisions and has been a shove all my life. I wish she had made better choices.

Answer

I don't talk to my dad or his family I met a few of them when I was really little but don't remember much and it's doesn't really bother me. It's kind of just like having distant relatives they're family but they're irrelevant 🤷‍♀️

Answer

Apart from grandparents I don't know either side of my biological parents side of the family. My stepfather's side is a different story. I know all 10 of them (including my dad).

Have u ever not known ur mom or dads side of the family?

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