Husband and friends say I'm ugly.

Its enough to struggle with self esteem and it's another to here those words come out of people's mouths. I'm so sad. here I thought i was pretty. anytime I try and feel good I get shot down by those terrible words. I just can't handle it anymore. I wish I was beautiful and I wish I was worthy of love that comes with it. I look in the mirror and think some days I'm beautiful then those defeating words come out of someone's mouth. I don't feel good about myself, I've gained weight and I feel aweful. Why can't I just feel good about myself? I'm i not aloud? I'm I hearing things?