Dodgy midwife 😡😡

So at my last appt we were discussing pain relief and I mentioned I was interested in getting an epidural if I needed it, but wanted to avoid gas and pethidone as I didn't want to feel too drugged up... my midwife told me I'd need to be uncomfortable at home for a long time before coming in and that she'd be on the phone with me through my contractions and unless I was 'basically screaming' she wouldn't tell me to come in. I'm a ftm so didn't realise there was anything wrong with what she'd said but still felt a bit funny about it afterwards... she then told me to get some panadol extra or panadene and I was dubious about this as I knew panadene had codeine in it and asked if it was okay for the baby and she said its fine and preferable to have something stronger as it means I can stay home for longer...she said the pharmacist might not give it to me though?? so I had an appt with my gp today to get a script for the panadene and told her what the midwife said and she told me that there are risks with using codeine, it can cause delayed breathing and response in babies... she also said that yeah I will be uncomfortable labouring at home but if I'm really not coping I can still go to the hospital and I don't need to be screaming down the phone for them to admit me 😑 she didn't seem to agree with the midwife on anything and basically contradicted everything she said. i also went to the pharmacy to pick up some panadol once I decided I wasn't having anything with codeine and read the ingredients on panadol extra and it said 63mg of caffeine per capsule...so if I have 2 every 4 hours and laboured at home for a long time I'd go way over the recommended daily limit for a pregnant woman...I'm really disturbed that my midwife didn't discuss any of the risks of either drug with me and basically bullied me into staying at home if I was in serious pain and that she'd be the judge if I needed to go in. I would feel so awkward about changing midwives though as I'm part of the mgp and don't even know if I could change last minute, and definitely don't want any dramas! advice is much appreciated x