Raising our baby without religion.

First of all, let me start by saying if you're religious that's great. I have nothing against other people having a relationship with whatever god they please. Just for myself personally, I do not want one nor have one. In this post I will explain my reasoning but please do not take it as a reflection of how I see other people. This post is simply about my child and what I should do for her.

Now, on with it. My boyfriend and I are both non religious. We both grew up in the church, but both turned away as we got older and started seeing things within the church, bible, and adults around us that we did not agree with. His family is still very religious, mine is not and never was. It was my choice to seek out God.

His mother has not directly asked if she could take our baby to church, but I know she wants to. She regularly tells my boyfriend he needs to go back to church, he needs to pray, stuff like that. Now I am not offended by that, neither is he. We understand where she's coming from. To her, him going to church is the best thing for him. So we politely decline and move on.

However, I do not want our child introduced to religion outside our home until they are old enough to decide for themselves. I'm taking like sixteen. Not only have I heard a lot of stories about babies, children being molested in church, churches typically make Sunday school intentionally fun for children. Games, candy, bible studies. Of course a kid would want to go back to a fun place. Of course they would want to continue to get candy and play with other kids. In our home while she is young I will tell our kid, this is what mommy and daddy believe, this is what other people believe, you are free to believe whatever makes you happy. But that will be in a controlled environment where I know no one is feeding what I consider damaging information into her head.

Being raised half in the church and half out was very conflicting. I would be told one thing at home, quite another totally different thing at church. It was difficult for me. I don't want my kid to struggle with her sense of morality like that. I want her to know when she makes a decision, she is deciding it for herself and not because she is afraid of being punished by a man she cannot see or hear yet knows everything about her. I want her to rely on her own moral compass and always keep herself pointing due north, because she knows that's what's right for her. Not because her God said so, because she said so.

I do not want this to cause a problem within my boyfriend's family. I do not want his mother to think we feel she is wrong or anything. That is not how we see it. If it works for you, great. But it does not work for us. If when she is older our kid decides she wants to go to church and so forth, she is more than welcome to. But not until she is old enough to decide rationally for herself.

This all being said, I am reluctant to leave our child with his mother. I just know she will take her to church without our permission. This has been something I have struggled with.