I've been scared to share until now.

My fiance and I are different. The whole relationship is taboo, and I've hated keeping it secret. It started as an affair. We both knew it. When his wife found out, I expected to be chewed out and cast out. No. She ended up asking me to come live with them. So the poly relationship started.

If a poly relationship produced out of an affair isn't wierd enough, it's our age difference. He will be 60 in August, and me? I'm 28 in December. No, he isn't some pervert, and no I'm not a sugar baby in this story. We've been together at this point for 6 years and are now trying to conceive.

Throw in the drama that is taking place that makes it so hard to keep it inside. She asked for the divorce. Yes, I was a key thing. Some how after 5 years, it wasn't real. When she announced it, I was living in my own apartment for personal reasons. She didn't tell me, she just ghosted me. Wouldn't respond to any contact. May it be a call, text, email, courier pigeon, Raven sent from winterfell... It took him to tell me. He had no idea that she just fell off the map with me. That hurt, because it was a 5 year relationship and it felt like I meant nothing. Not once had I ever yelled or even went out of the way for catty BS while we lived together because I knew she didn't ask for this relationship in the beginning. I still loved her, she was family.

Now somethings come out of the woodwork. Her reasons for staying were, she thought she could save the marriage, and (I knew but not the figure) his inheritance. Yes, I know how this looks. I only found out there was one 2 years in, because it never crossed my mind that there was still such a thing. I found out after she got super drunk with all of us, and she spilled the beans. I honestly wish I didn't know, because I wouldn't of felt this awkward in the end. I didn't know the figure until now, and I don't want to discuss the total, but his family was around when oil was just starting to pop up, and tele communications were developing.

On paper, I look like shit, because of how it looks, I try not to involve the few friends I have because, I suck at making friends, and I don't want to be an emotional burden.

I love him, and his mind. That's how I fell for him in the first place. With my mental disorders, he could of dropped me years ago, and this wouldn't of even happened.

Do I regret staying even though she called for a divorce? No. The house was toxic (hence me living out of it) Am I angry that I was kept just as a put up with and didn't matter long term? Yes. Can I be angry about how she acted? personally yes and no. I just have to keep moving on, and enjoy what I have.

thanks for reading, and I'm sorry if it bothers many of you that I, the other woman destroyed a family. I just hope that people might see that we aren't all that nasty. I'm just tired off keeping all of this a secret from normal people.

*cheers*