unprotected

So. I've been on birth control for 2 years now. I recently had to get off it because I no longer have insurance and can't afford my $500 nuva ring.

I've never used a condom, and my by and I decided we'd use one for sex. We used the warming sensations Trojan. It hurts as soon as we started and I made him take it off. I told him it was ok if he didn't pull out this one time.

And now I feel dirty. I don't get it it. I just want to curl up in the shower. and I don't understand what could be making me feel this way. I definitely don't want to look at him right now. Which I don't understand...

Anyone ever felt this way?