I was supposed to be induced on a Monday morning. However, my water broke Sunday night and I went into the hospital. I was excited because I wanted things to happen naturally anyways and timing couldn't have been more perfect.

I'm a FTM so I was obviously very nervous. I didn't know what was going on.

I know I was hooked up to an IV for fluids but the next thing I know, the nurse was pumping me with pitocin.

Why would they need to speed things up if things were naturally taking course on its own?? I had only been in the hospital for about 2 hours, tops. Now my contractions were unbearable. At only 3 cm dilated. I needed an epidural at this point. I didn't want one but I couldn't go another 7 cm like that. My doctor was no where to be found! They couldn't get in touch with him to give me the epi. So they pumped me with Demerol! Which only helped for an hour. They still couldn't find my doctor. So the one on call gave me the epi. Not gonna lie, it worked wonders. But it worked too good.

By the time I needed to push, I felt NOTHING. No pressure, no urge to push. Nothing. I was numb. But I started to push anyways. Every time I pushed my daughters heart rate dropped drastically. It sounded like a regular adults heart beat. 90 bpm. The nurses disregarded this. My doctor was still lost!! 😠I pushed for over an hour after the nurses finally stopped lying to me about how "great" I was doing. They eventually told me that I wasn't pushing as hard as I thought I was because I was so numb. Really?! All while my kids heart rate is like a roller coaster? Wtf is going on? Why is my epi still so strong? Now that I'm looking back, everyone seemed so lost! I just thought that I wouldn't tell these women how to do their job, I put my trust in them.

2 hours into pushing, I FINALLY get her head out and her cord was wrapped so tight around her neck, she was blue!! Some random doctor shows up to deliver my baby. Thank god she was fine but I feel like this was ALLLL WRONG.

Where was MY doctor?! Why did they give me pitocen?? Why was my epidural so strong to where I couldn't push(and the nurses KNEW that)? Where was the doctor when the life of my baby was being choked out of her for 2 hours?