Second loss happened on vacation

We found out on an early scan before our trip that I was measuring two and a half weeks behind with no heartbeat, but as I was leaving for vacation the next day we just sort of went and waited. I've had spotting almost everyday of this pregnancy and had lost all morning sickness so even though they tried to remain hopeful that maybe I had done my math wrong and I might show growth when we got back I knew it was over- had been over for a while.

So basically I had a missed miscarriage for over two weeks already, and had cramps and spotting for another two weeks until two days ago when I had pain and bleeding so intense and uncontrollable we had to go to the er where they noted my miscarriage was incomplete and my cervix couldn't close so I had an emergency dnc. This is my first time having to deal with contractions and intense bleeding as my previous loss had to be removed by dnc after the baby's heart stopped at 13 weeks before I went through anything.

This time was so much more physically traumatic. I lost multiple units of blood and the pain was excruciating. Being on vacation and having to wait for the other shoe to drop for weeks was traumatic in it's own rite. I'm sorrowful but honestly so relieved that I will start healing physically now. Not going home for another week then I'm a teacher going back to work as the school year ramps up at my brand new job. I don't think I can try again. This is too hard. I'm 35 and think I just waited too long to start a family.