I don't know how to feel

Ashley

in the parking lot at my drs office waiting to go in and get this shot to basically kill my baby because it's in my tube.......I feel mixed emotions...I know I could die if I just let my tube rupture but it just seems so wrong to think about having to do this...I'm okay all day until late at night after I'm in the bed my head is racing and I break down finding myself saying sorry?!