My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for over a year. We found out we were pregnant in July. Within a few days I was in surgery for an ectopic pregnancy. My tube ruptured and I was bleeding internally. It happened so quickly that I barely even had time be excited for our first baby. The doctor barely blinked an eye when they did the ultra sound and told me that they couldn't even see inside because there was too much blood. And within two hours later I was in surgery. They didn't even ask if I was ok. They acted indifferent which I suppose is how they should act right? But it made me feel sick... like it was normal to just have my baby sucked out by some vacuum(that's what I imagined when they explained everything to me) But I felt like my world was falling apart. And since then, I've tried to convince myself I shouldn't be upset because the baby wasn't a baby... no heart beat. But I am upset. I feel the loss of my baby. And every time someone posts pictures of their baby, I get sad. My best friend just told me she's pregnant again. And I was happy for her but it hurt and now I feel like I can't tell her how much I hurt. Today I almost cried in the store because I had to buy something in the baby section. Does it ever get easier? Am I stupid for being upset about a baby I barely even knew about? Even now writing this post, I want to cry. I'm probably going to talk to someone but I figured I'd ask on here too. Just to see if it will help.