Frustrated

April β€’ πŸ’• Registered Nurse πŸ’‰ TTC #1 πŸ’•

Soooo... the week of ovulation DH and I BD'd every night, and twice on O day itself... I don't have the most regular cycles, but AF, ALWAYS comes 12 days after ovulation... this week it didn't. I kept telling myself not to get excited. Well, I did anyway. Af was a week late, but she came yesterday. We've only been ttc for four cycles, but I think I'm feeling more and more depressed every time she rears her ugly head. On top of that, DH is so supportive that sometimes I find myself being irrationally angry with him. For example, a few weeks ago we took my parents' cat in for a few days while they went on vacation. DH insisted that he take care of her, and especially the litter box because he didn't want to, "hurt the baby, just in case" he's being cute, but it makes me feel sad when he says these things. Or the other day I was carrying some heavy laundry around and he insisted on doing it, again, "just in case." I appreciate the help, and I feel terrible for getting annoyed, but it makes me feel like a failure. Each Time AF rolls around he's so nice about it and tells me it just gives us more opportunities to BD the next month, and that it'll happen when it happens. But I feel like his positivity is directly conflicting with my insecurities and fears and it's irritating to me for some reason. I think that my fear is that he doesn't recognize that conceiving may take us a very long time, and I'm worried that he's going to burn himself out on being so loving and supportive right NOW when there is no baby, and there won't be anything left for when we DO finally conceive. UGH who knew having such a loving and supportive husband would make me feel like I'm carrying the stress alone lol then again, I may just be AF'ing hard right now, and DH is my natural enemy for the next few days.