Scared to give birth :/

First time mom here....and honestly the closer I get to my due date the more terrifying the thought of giving birth gets. I have just heard so many horror stories of birth and recovery from people and nothing positive whatsoever. I have read many different books and articles, wrote out a birth plan and I still feel completely unprepared. I know I am probably going to get a lot of negative feedback for this, but I do want to try to go without a epidural (just because the process of getting one terrifies me and again I have heard horror stories about the after effects and also I wouldnt mind saving the money). I am keeping other pain med options open such as narcotics etc.... I just don't know how to calm these fears, anxiety over this is sneaking into my day to day life and I dont know how to cope >_<. Anyone out there with advice? Is birth really as terrible as everyone tells me :(