how to find myself

i've been in a toxic relationship for 3 years and he's changed everything about me who i talk to who i am friends with i had to stay in the house i wasn't allowed to go out with friends or to have friends over (i'm still not allowed because he is not letting me leave him) and i want this relationship to be over but i also don't know what will happen when it is over because i'm not the same person i was 3 years ago i'm not as happy or confident i don't really know who i am😞 i'm lost with myself, i want to go shopping so bad but he's still around and he doesn't let me go to the mall i just want this to end he's not letting me leave