wtf ugh

I'm so depressed and horny at the same time like I want my bf so bad I'm going crazy and jacking off doesn't help. I need to feel his body and want him only. I haven't seen him in almost a week and I won't be able to see him for another 11 or so days and idk if I can last that long without some kind of video chat or call from him. Ugh how is it I'm so depressed I don't want to do anything yet I'm so horny for him? I'm on birth control which I haven't been taking on time bc it doesn't matter since it'll be so long before I'll get some from him and I'm so emotional too like I want to cry bc I know he's stressed with the job he's on. I wish I could just feel better and not hate myself like this and hate life. I know it's the depression but it's just a hard day for me. plus I'm dealing with a toothache that needs a root canal but won't get fixed till December. I wasn't even any pain medicine for it. I'm such a wreck why does he even love me? I'm not really needing advice or anything. I just needed to rant 😢