How do you announce pregnancy to someone who struggles with infertility?

Question

My brother and his wife have been ttc for a while now and recently found out their only option is going to be IVF or adoption. They are really upset about it. I myself have struggled with ttc but I have a 2.5 year old and recently found out I am expecting our second. I do not want to upset them. I've told my mom and dad but not my brother. Everyone's reaction when I told them the news was "oh, that's going to break your brothers heart" or "your brother is going to be so upset" I don't want to hurt them but I can't hide it forever. I also don't want to lie! :( What is the best way to break the news gently without causing a fuss? If anyone has suffered with infertility themselves, please tell me how you'd prefer it to be done?

Answer

Honestly, I would want to know. And it's sad that the first reaction is about how you're brother will feel. This is a joyful moment, and I wish you the best. I would just sit down and let him know, and maybe he can tell his wife at the appropriate time. Don't hide it or make it extravagant, but definitely let him know. Remind him that you're fertility and getting pregnant does not effect theirs.

Answer

honestly.... it's just best you tell them.  it can be in person or on the phone.  just let them know and honestly if they hate you for it then give them time to get over it.  I know ttc can be tough or even impossible for some but he's your brother and shouldn't place any hate on you bc you can have children.  
my brother stopped talking to me a few years ago over nothing,  literally nothing.  but if your brother gets upset just give him time.  I know it sucks.  sorry you are going through with this issue.

Answer

My best friend has struggled with 4 miscarriages over the last 8 years and still no babies. I agreed to carry a child for her if the dr ever told her she isn't able to carry herself. It hasn't come to that yet and she continues to try with her SO. 
I had an unexpected pregnancy last year. I was stressed and worried the entire time due to it being unplanned and still living at home. But my best friend was always there for me and never had any negative feelings. She was the one that made me feel positive and grateful for what I was going through. My baby is 5 months old now and I can't imagine my life without him. My husband and I always planned on kids. Just never this soon. But we both agree it was a blessing. 
I can understand why your brother and sister in law would be upset or feel like this wasn't fair to them. But in the end, they should be nothing but happy for you! Every baby is a blessing ♥️ maybe they can't celebrate a baby of their own right now but they should be joyous that they get to be apart of your journey and celebrate this blessing with you. It's not fair to you or the baby if they make you feel like you need to hide this or feel less excited about it. Your brother and SIL may feel upset or like the world isn't fair at first. They have a right to feel that way after what they've been through. But after that initial feeling I hope they will feel nothing but positive feelings for you because that is what you and your family deserve ♥️

Answer

thanks everyone. we got good news today at our first doctor's appointment. I wanted to officially confirm it before telling them just in case. I'm going to call him and tell him today so he can tell my SIL himself and let her adjust to it.

Answer

I've struggled with infertility, and my greatest fear in sharing with family and friends is making them feel uncomfortable sharing their good news. I would definitely tell him but be prepared to hear a little pain in his voice and know that it doesn't mean he isn't thrilled for you.

How do you announce pregnancy to someone who struggles with infertility?

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