Drinking mid second trimester

Does anyone know of anyone or themselves who lost control of their sobriety during pregnancy once, did they have deformed babies anyone.

I have an alcohol problem, and haven't drank all the way up to the 18th week and I have failed miserably I have 5 or 6 glasses of wine and I'm terrified.

I know I'm horrible I'm not asking anyone to put their judgment on me. I just want to know if anyone has gone through something similar and had a healthy baby or not healthy baby.