My Surgery/D&C

Many of tou guys know, I had my D&C; today.

They told me to be there at 5:30 am.

I got there.. they wondered why I was so early.. my surgery was at 7:30.

I told them they told me to arrive at 5:30.

I was already in pain.

I started bleeding last night.. and cramping so fucking bad.

I got an I.V in my hand..

It hurt so bad..

I tried resting..

7:30 evenutally arrived.

I was wheeled back on the bed.. to the o.r..

I was freezing..

They gave me a blanket that was warmed up..

I laid there.. talking to my baby..

Telling it that I will always love & remember it. 😞💕

It was my true love. But it was too precious for earth.

I was eventually given something to calm me..

I was basically high..

Then being put under came.

They gave me some oxygen.. and then they cut the anesthesia on.

I coughed a few times.. breathed and I was out.

They woke me up.. I slapped myself to wake myself up..

And passed back out.

You guys have no idea how tired I was.

I eventually woke back up...

They stuck a pad between my legs..

I could just feel the blood.

If i coughed.. laughed..Used any muscles taht pushed.. blood dripped out.

I felt embarrassed.. yet sad.

In my room.. the nurse changed it..

As i coughed and it got all on my gown and bed pad..

I was given fentnayl and zofran.

My pain went from a 7 to a 2..

Then I was nauseous again...

I got to get dressed a hour later... she watched me pee and gave me disposable underwear and two pads.

I made it home and basically passed out.

I woke up and peed.. and it felt like i peed for ages.

I had some cookies beside my bed.. ate them and i felt so good. I had grape kool aid as well.

I was grateful to be able to have my baby in the hospital..

even if I didn't get to take my precious baby.

I will never forget you baby. Mommy loves you..

i am so sorry I could only carry you for two months..

I wish I could have saved you..

Guys, D&C;'s hurt.

Mentally.. and physically.

You have to say goodbye to your little one..

I was happy with the decision i chose..

I could not bare to pass it at home.

I didn't want to have to see it here and go through pain.

😞

Please, keep me in your thoughts..