was i responsible..?

this guy it awkward and very flirtatious. he was just an acquaintance and I thought it would be nice to grab dinner and catch over drinks. well, the night on the town was fun. but we came back to my place to play board games and drink a Spanish drink of red wine and Coke. it was fine until I remembered that red wine doesn't agree with me. I got sick in my bathroom, was really embarrassed, and tried to feel better. this guy and I were clearly drunk and I was just rambling on about nothing when he kissed me and then took control of me.

he was shockingly strong and did things that hurt me. it's a few days after and I am finding more bruises, still bleeding(?), and am very emotional and scared around guys who initiate conversation with me.

I could've said no while with this guy and I hate myself for not doing so. He definitely crossed sexual lines I was not prepared to cross, but I let him. I feel awful and alone.

Does anyone have any advice how to overcome a sexual encounter gone very wrong? I'm looking to find peace of mind. anything will be of help. thanks