Anxiety to the max

Hey everyone so I have been suffering from PPD and a lot of PPA the thought of being left alone at home with my baby scares me to death I don't know why I constantly feel the need I need someone with me just to be able to take care of my baby and I really don't want that! I want to be fully independent and not look like some psycho. If any of you have had this please help me ): I'm feeling so trapped and it's making me feel really guilty I don't feel like a good mother..