A little back story...

My husband was married once before and after having their son his wife had two affairs. One resulting in a aborted pregnancy. Although he tried to work things out she ended up leaving him and their son. Her parents got her a excellent lawyer who ripped my husband apart in court.

Since then they have shared 50/50 custody. My husband pays her directly $100 per week as the judge told her she could either have that or nothing and my husband would carry their son on his insurance. Of course she wanted the money! They are suppose to split extra curricular activities but my husband has always paid. She is also suppose to provide the essentials for their son while in my husband's care but she has never done so.

Fast forward 11 years later...

My step son's behavior became erratic after I had my daughter. He was getting in trouble at school daily and being disrespectful to everyone. We managed to make it through a year and then we witnessed inappropriate, rough play with my daughter along with harmful threats made to his therapist about me. His therapist decided it best to remove him from our home. Since then my husband sees him outside of the home but his mother and her mother whom they live with have done nothing the therapist has asked. They allow him to do as he wishes, when he wishes and instead of quality time, they simply buy his love.

Now his mother wants more support but we are not in a place we can provide anymore. Recently I found out she is double dipping. She is collecting state cash assistance as well as food stamps but did not report it correctly so that my husband's child support be sent directly to the state to cover her assistance. We know we have to do something or else we could essentially get in trouble for not reporting this info.

Recently she has told my husband she can't support their son on $100 each week and wants more. Last night he said he was thinking of giving her $100 more temporarily to keep her quiet.

Is this right? Should we bring her to court? Should we sit down and let her know what we know?

This has been very stressful. We are in marriage counseling ourselves for the stress this has created. We are also awaiting in home therapy to mediate the two homes so my stepson can return. His mother wants him to go back to us asap but I refuse as the issues have not been resolved! I'm not.... I can't allow my daughter to be in harm's way. She's so selfish and unwilling to cooperate.

Anyone have any input? Words of encouragement?

I'm 19 weeks pregnant with a little boy and this has created a unhealthy pregnancy.

I don't know what to do next!

Any help would be appreciated!