Frustrating Stepmom

Okay, so I grew up with my stepmom and she was abusive to me up until I was kicked out at 17. I am almost 14 weeks pregnant now, and she’s crazy excited to be a grandma. Now, I have every intention of her being in my kids life (with supervision, because I still have a hard time trusting her) and I’ve been keeping her updated on Dr. Appointments. My husband and I did the genetic testing, so we were able to find out the gender. We wanted to know so we could do something for my biological mom who lives in a different state, so she wouldn’t have to find out over the phone or on Facebook. My stepmom keeps pushing to find out the gender, but we are hosting a family gender reveal in 2 weeks. Nobody besides me, my husband, and my biological mom know the gender. My stepmom had been pushing me to show her how I wanted to nursery to look, and it is all gray and white, gender neutral. She looked at me and said “so, it’s a boy, huh?” And I said she would find out on the 29th. My little sister told me today that my stepmom had told my sister’s boyfriend the gender of our baby (and it was accurate) and I’m just really annoyed. I really just needed to vent this out. She is crazy obsessive with my pregnancy, and she even said she was going with us to make the registry. It’s hard for me to stick up for myself because I’m always remembering how when I was younger and tried to stick up for myself she would hit me. I know that she wouldn’t be able to hit me now (her ass would get thrown in jail in a heartbeat) but it’s still very hard for me. What do yall think? Am I being too harsh or am I right for being annoyed?