Need some one to talk to

I have mix emotions and don't know what to do anymore and I have no one or talk to or give advice

.

Im 29 years old ill be 30 in january I've been in a relationship sinice july 2010 and I love him to bits but I have been sleeping with my ex on and off (he lives like 400 miles away) since we split in october 2008 we talk every day and and we still have strong feelings for each other which have only recently came out its complicated we originally agreed that he was only to help me try and have a baby and my bf can't due to have a the snip before we got together and he is 16 years older than me.

I think I have falling back in love deeply with my ex but he is a difficult man as he dose not open up very often and express his feeling or emotions I mean the whole time we have been separated he has always said he's wanted me he has always seen me when he has a gf and their has been a few over the years but seams to still come back to me we live on the opposite side of the UK but he excites me I mean he will do anything I mean anything or will try new things I would like to try and I will too I'm confused and need help I an finding it had as I am in love with two men and dunno what to do