i found out last week that we were expecting. faint bfp, then another, faint but a bit darker.

yesterday i had some spotting, FREAKED, but my best friend (who is in her second trimester) calmed me down, said she had that too, that it is normal, to just keep an eye on it.

this morning i woke up to my period in full force. cramps are just beginning. it’s just like i was dropped into day two of my period (when my flow is heaviest and i feel the crampiest). i confirmed negative with a test after i woke up. i’ll call my doctor tomorrow, i guess.

y’all. this is the weirdest place to be in. i was, for a few days, pregnant. my breasts hurt. i was nauseous (had been for a FULL week and change). and then poof. gone. i told my husband (who OF COURSE has to be out of town for work today) that it feels odd to grieve it so early. i’m trusting that, for whatever reason, it wouldn’t have been a healthy pregnancy or baby, and that we will have that later. but it still hurts.