If after 8 years, the man you love is still doubting to commit to marriage/kids, what would you do? Even though he is closer to the decision of marriage/kids more than ever, what would be the conclusion you came to?Apologies for repost for rephrasing.

Question

To give some context, he's a wonderful man. He's just has been deeply scarred by being involved in multiple of his parent's divorces. It was hard on him. But he is now in his 30's. And I've been nothing but devoted and loyal. I never once doubted our relationship until this very point, I feel like I've been sticking around for so long. What's the deal? I would to hear from anyone who's been though something similar.

Answer

Using your parents divorce as the reason you do not want to have kids and get married, is a copout. If you see yourself married one day and having kids, then its time for you to move on. It is not fair to you to keep hanging onto the hope that one day he MAY change his mind. Find your happy and dont settle.

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One of my best friends dated a guy for 9 years & he was just never quite ready to pull the trigger on marriage... & then he dumped her. IMO, there's something wrong if you aren't sure about your future with someone after that many years. It's not like more time will let you get to know the other person better.

Answer

Everyone will have their opinions, but it’s your relationship, so you will need to decide for yourself what is important to you in life. For me getting married and having my own children was a non-negotiable issue. Other people feel different. I would leave, but that’s based on my deal breakers, yours might be different. Don’t let the internet make this choice for you. If you can’t live the rest of your life without marriage and kids, leaving is probably the way to go, if you can be happy with him without those things then it’s different. Your age is also a factor, how much longer can you give him to decide? Can you deal with kids and not marriage. It’s a serious conversation you need to have with your SO.

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After 8 years he should be seeing how strong your relationship is and not using his parents as a continuous reason to avoid marriage. He either wants marriage or doesn't. After that long I'd be giving an ultimatum.

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It really shouldn’t be that hard.

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I was with a „lovely“ guy who didn’t want to commit fully. After 4.5 years he said he wasn’t 100% sure. I left because I was sure that was the wrong answer for me. Never regretted it. He is still not committed to anyone (I left him 2006!), but I am married (got married after 1.5 years of „dating“) to a truly wonderful man. I just can’t recommend staying after what I have experienced, but I certainly wish you good luck and who knows, maybe it turns out differently for you.

Answer

I can’t say go or stay as only you can decide that but I’ll say my husband said he would never marry as he said he doesn’t believe in divorce cause his mother had been divorced three times then my mother and father were divorced and my mum had married another two more but is still with the third.
My husband and I had been teenage sweetheart type thing went our seperate ways around 18 after four yrs together then I had two beautiful daughters but we got back together he was happy to just have my daughters and would call them his own never said these are my step daughters who were 2 & 3 at the time after being back together for a few yrs can’t remember exact date 
he decided one evening just laying there watching a movie one night to ask if I would ever marry him I looked at him like it’s a joke or something and just said yeah of course I would then he said well will you marry me ? I was just like really? Are you being serious? He said is that a yes ? I was like keep calm it’s ok lol😆 but let out YES !!!! We were married in Jan 09 and found out our baby girl was at our wedding she was with us we found out a week after the wedding I was pregnant I had to get three people to help get me in my dress lol😆 then that was why AF didn’t cone on our wedding day either 
Sometimes I think back and I remember the conversation we would have about how we didn’t want that piece of paper ect but then he knew I was in his life for the long run and I knew the same with him and we now have three children 13yr old 12 yr old and our biological together 8 yrs old pls we are ttc baby #4 but #2 together 
I hope all works out for the best for you xx

If after 8 years, the man you love is still doubting to commit to marriage/kids, what would you do? Even though he is closer to the decision of marriage/kids more than ever, what would be the conclusion you came to?Apologies for repost for rephrasing.

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