Feeling so disappointed once again I found porn :(

Soo me and my fiancé have been together for 2 years his only just proposed 2 months ago. When we first me he came to me and said he didn’t like watching porn when I’m a relationship and I agreed and we seemed happy. First forward to a couple of months into the relationship I find porn and stacks of it. We talked about it how he lied to me and went behind my back and watched it, he then agreed he wouldn’t do it again and I believed him. Fast forward I’ve caught him 5 or 6 times over the time. Then tonight his been weird on his phone and I looked and he was looking about sexy lingerie. But the real reason why I do r like him watching it is because I was raped when I was 6 and was forced to watch porn while I got raped... my fiancé hates talking about rape it gets him so angry about it Which is normal but how the fuck do I tell him why it hurts so much?

I know once I tell him the real reason he will just sink and feel so fucking bad. He gets so upset that I was raped for 3 years by a family member please help me I need advice