Does anyone know helpful guidelines for healthy arguing? What works for you?

Background: My fiancé has a temper & admits to picking fights as a means of gaining control in his life, so naturally we bicker about misc little shit I do that bothers him. I want to decrease the frequency of our conflicts. We are low income / no money for couples therapy. I want to approach conflict rationally and not let it get to me. But I can't just walk away or be dismissive every time because it's selfish & disrespectful. Please advise.

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