Am I a horrible person?

Soo... I’ve been feeling pretty depressed since my husband and I have been ttc and I found out I have PCOS. It’s been a roller coaster to say the least.

My best friend came up for a wedding and stayed with us. I hadn’t told her much of the baby stuff since I didn’t want to overload her the few times that we are able to talk fully. But when we had talked I could tell she was keeping something from me and would ask her if she was okay. I was having dreams about her... it was seriously weird.

she arrives and gives me a card with a sonogram photo. She is 15 weeks pregnant. I was in complete shock. I congratulated her and her husband and then he starts to tell me how they got it on the first try and she found out at 4 weeks after only being late by one day!

And, I can’t get over it. I couldn’t be completely happy for her, even now and it’s been 2 weeks since she told me. I know I was feeling a bit jealous. Or maybe a lot jealous but also kind of hurt that she hadn’t mentioned anything about it to me. It’s such a big moment and we used to share everything!!

I’m feeling so horrible because I know it’s immature to have these feelings. I shouldn’t feel jealous of my best friends pregnancy. It doesn’t help that literally 5 of my friends are pregnant right now. Although none of the others really got to me the way hers did. Every woman’s body is different. I just don’t know what to do to get over it and be normal with my friend again.

I feel like a horrible friend