Do NOT judge me...

So my dr called me today with my panaroma testing results. I want to start off by saying I’m beyond thankful that all my genetic testing came back great. This was the longest 6 days of my life, I swear!

Now onto the gender of baby. I found out I am having a boy and I’m horribly upset by this....like I literally had tears in my eyes. I have a daughter who will be 5 in December and she is the most snuggly, lovable, nurturing, caring little girl I know. I absolutely love this about her and the bond we share. I was so hoping for another girl because I feel like these are qualities that a lot of girls have and I don’t think I’ll jave this with a son. I seriously don’t know that I can deal with the crazy, wild, roughness that boys are. I feel like I will not have a special bond with him like I do with my daughter for these reasons. Plus, I know I shouldn’t be thinking about this now, but I’m fearful for the future bc when boys grow up and get married, they tend to go towards the wife’s family which upsets me. I know a lot of this is probably hormones, but I just don’t know how to get past this feeling which makes me feel like a horrible person bc My baby is healthy and that’s what’s important! Has anyone who has 2 kids or more already experienced this?

I really don’t need anyone to judge me for how I’m feeling, so if you’re going to be judgemental, please keep your comments to yourself.