Unsure and torn

I am now 43. My ex and I had discussed him giving me the baby I have always wanted back in February which would have made me a mother at 43. Now the subject has come up again and I would now be a mother at 44. I know it's only 1 year, but I've had more time to think and to be 64 when my baby is 20 sounds crazy. I watched my cousin graduate high school in May and his mother is my age. That made me think that I would be crazy. The kid I work with told me his dad is my age and he just started college. Am I crazy here? The other problem is that everyone HATES him and would never accept me being pregnant. My mother would probably have a heart attack, but tells me that there are other ways to have a baby. What would it matter if it was his or someone elses? Neither guy would be around. Please...just want to see what others think. Thanks!!!