I'm having a problem and will keep it short. My boyfriend, whom I adore, says bondage feels wrong to him. He's so against domestic violence and rape he wont even hold my hands while we have sex! I've tried explaining how, for me, it's a symbol of the trust I have in him and that I want to further that trust and that it makes me feel safe, and that it's a release of control for me (a bit of a control freak) which I really enjoy having on occassion. I even explained how much I want it, in case he was having any bit of a doubt about consent. I explained safewords and everything- and keep in mind I'm not asking for much, just that on occasion (like one time a month) he take some control, be a little demanding or hold my hands down or let me use handcuffs. He wont have any of it.

I dont know how to make him understand. If I can't, I still love him and will stay with him no matter what. But if there's any advice y'all have for me, my sex life and I would really appreciate it 😘

UPDATE: He, on his own, held my hands down during sex. He later said holding my hands feels personal and intimate, and that even though the idea of holding me down doesnt really turn him on he's happy to do it if I means I... Um... Will be dripping into the bed like that. 😅😁