God I need help...

Recently my bf of 8 months and I broke up. It just kind of happened out if no where. We'd suddenly gotten really distant when school started (we're both 17). I tried to talk to him about it and see what we could do to fix it. I never in a million years wanted to lose him, but when I asked him what he wanted to do about it he told he thought we should take a break.... I tried to talk him out of it, but he was so determined that that's what we needed. I was so shocked for the first two days, but then I felt really happy on the third and I didn't know why. I figured it must have been the change that was happening. I was so heartbroken at first and I didn't think I could go through that a third time because he's done it to me one other time before (I know that sounds bad but he is a really great guy). So I told him that maybe this break should be a permanent one.... Even since I told him that I've regretted it. I can't get him out of my head and everything I do reminds me of him and I can't hardly sleep because every time I do I have a dream about him and I know how stupid and pathetic I am, but I still love him... I just miss him SO much and I keep typing texts to him that I never send. I'm scared to send them, because I don't want him to think I'm as weak as I am. Every time I see him it's like I put on a this front that I completely fine and happy and thats what everybody else sees too, but I'm hurting SO much and I don't know what to do. Should I send those messages? Please just someone tell me what to do. ****UPDATE**** So he texted me yesterday saying he had my rollerskates still. Of course I want them back so I said to give them to me at school today. When I go up to him after 8th period and ask if he had them in his car he yeah and to follow him. Well the whole way there and when I got my skates he's being an ass, not too much but he was definitely treating me a lot different than he normally treated me even before we were dating. I think this is actually my wake up call! What did I see in someone like him? This is definitely going to help me to get over him for real now. Yeah it hurts, but I totally needed this! Thank you girls so much for your advice ! I'm SOOOO glad I didnt send those text😂😄😆