I don’t know if I did the right thing?

Some people may have seen my post the other day about finding out my husband (and father of our three children) is gay the other day. And I’m saying gay and not bisexual because due to the content of the box I found while unpacking our new house contained very clear evidence that he is not attracted to women and only got involved with me so that he could pretend to be straight.

Anyways, my husband has been out of town on business for the week (with his best friend whom he has evidently been in a relationship with for 3 years prior to even asking me on a date). So I spent the night going through the box and gather evidence. This morning I filed for annulment of our marriage with the Church and government. I’m Catholic and divorce is not recognized for us, but a gay spouse (who quite literally lied and betrayed you for over 15 years) counts as grounds to annulment as the marriage never should’ve happened. My priest has told me he sees no reason why it would not go through so thats my ‘good’ news that at least one day I’ll be able to try again with someone else.

With the government I’m filing for annulment, but as we have completely combined our assets we technically fall under common law so everything will be divided. I’m asking for the house (so happy we haven’t spent a day in this house together yet), sole custody (I’m the primary care giver already as my husband travels very regularly and works very long hours and I make significantly more money than he does- I won’t stop him from seeing our kids though) and then we can divide the rest based off what we both make, etc. Thankfully my businesses is solely in my name and my brother is a family lawyer.

I haven’t spoken to him though. I thought about calling, but didn’t want to have it out over the phone. But I can’t stay attached to him any longer. I just feel so sick to my stomach. I’ve packed up all his things (including my apparently meaningless wedding and engagement ring) and left them in his car that he can collect when he returns tomorrow. My kids have no idea what is happening and I’m lost on how to tell them. Part of me feels so relieved to have the process started to get out of this sham of a life, but know part of me feels like I just rushed it. But I think that’s just because it’s a huge change and that’s scary. I can’t stay married to someone incapable of loving me and I certainly can’t stay with someone who has no respect for me and thinks it fine to lie to me for 15 years.