I hate my life so much right now. On the outside, people look at me and think I have the perfect life.

I'm engaged. We recently bought a house that's going to be built. I'm in a competitive medical program. We're planning our wedding. People think I'm pretty and dress well.

What they don't know is how low my self esteem is. I don't want to go out of the house many days because I feel so ugly. They don't know that my fiance has a severe problem with staring at women - any younger female person. It's so bad that the sex counselor he's seeing for it doesn't know what to do because he just can't or won't stop.

They don't know that I've been crying almost every day and I'm so exhausted and hurt. I feel so unloved and worthless. I have no family to turn to. No friends.

They don't know that I'm not in this program by choice, that my "parents" took out $200,000 in loans that I need to pay back and this program is my best shot at being able to do that.

I'm so fucking sick of my life right now.